This video works well with last week’s resource post, so if you were confused about what those resources related to, this video will put it all into context.

The recording also doubles as a kind of calling card for anyone who’d like me to run a keynote or a workshop on that very topic for their community or their company. Reach out if you are interested, and I promise I’ll take your audience from shock to laughter, to real action - and to a new appreciation of what it means to be alive.

Here’s what Support Driven had to say:

And without further ado, here’s the summary… and below some reflections on speaking about a topic no one wants to talk about.

Sex used to be the topic no one would talk about. There would be insinuations, nervous laughter, hush hush conversations, but sex was definitely not something you’d compare notes on.

That has changed, even on a linguistic level. We invented the word sex-positive to indicate events, conversations, and activities that accept sex as part of human experience. New vocabulary from vanilla to kink have reached the mainstream through dating apps that nudge you to state your preferences, through movies and series that normalise, categorise and conceptualise world wider than our own bedroom.

This development has brought it’s own problems, at times devaluing friendship or other non-sexual relationships over the classic “partner” setup. And yet, it has given us a language to actually talk about it. And that hasn’t happened yet with death-related topics.

And that means, the first reaction to a confident “You are going to die.” is a mix of disbelief, uncertainty, and then, recognition. Because you can’t really argue with that statement.

Most of our grand parents had seen death before their first school day - even if they hadn’t lived through wartime. People used to die at home, not in the hospital. Everyone would go to the waking, children included. Grieving was done visibly, through attire and for a set period of time, and since it was part of life through rituals, there was no need to discuss the topic. Funerals were as much family reunions as were weddings - mostly because most people lived close to where they grew up.

And then the rituals faded, families spread out geographically, death got sanitised, put in a box (pun intended) and stored away. Living further apart means that many of us may not have attended funerals of wider family members if the timing wasn’t right, or the travel too complicated. So for many of us, the first close encounter with death is… the passing of a parent.

Which means we need to come to grips with grief and logistics at the same time, making decisions we weren’t ready for under emotional circumstances we didn’t expect.

I want you to have those conversations. With your parents, with your partner(s), with your good friends, with your kids. What do you want to happen when you die? Who gets what? And why? How do you want your funeral to look like? What should happen with your magazine collection?

And I want you to think through what you yourself still want to do before that day comes. Funding your daughter’s gap year so she can travel the world at 19 might be more meaningful than having her inherit the same money when she’s in her 40s or 50s. Giving that family heirloom to your son in person allows you to see the wonder in his eyes while you are still alive.

These are questions about finances, about purpose, about generosity, about productivity, and so much more. You’ll need more than one afternoon to figure them out. But you can start those conversations now.

Live! Because you are going to die!