It’s just a hair piece with some sparkle. It makes it easy to remember me. It makes it easy to find me at conferences. It’s an invitation from this introvert to start a conversation with me. And it’s also a very effective way of repelling people who take themselves too seriously.
Apparently, the tiara makes me more approachable (for some) AND less likeable (for others) - which is perfect!
I’ve been wearing a tiara for almost a decade, the moniker “empress” (or “emperatriz”) came shortly afterwards. I do have a tendency to make decisions, to define what needs to be done, to get things done, and to motivate other follow suit.
So instead of fighting it, I decided to lean into the archetype. I claimed the title.
Apparently that’s how it works.
How to be the empress
Step 1: Get a tiara for every occasion. A very sparkly one for being on stage, the three-pointed one for interviews, the simple ones for every-day use (I call those my incognito tiara).
Step 2: Wear it like you mean it. Work calls with a tiara? Check. Client calls with a tiara? Check. Prospect calls with a tiara? Check.
And it works. The tiara makes me approachable enough to quickly establish rapport. It also weeds out the people who can’t handle a woman wearing a tiara in a work setting. I prefer not to work with people who can’t handle a little bit of sparkle, or who can’t separate the visual from the content.
Yes, I wear a tiara. And yes, I am going to ask you to do big changes, to think deeply, to question even the assumptions that you didn’t know you had. That’s hard work, so let’s start with a smile and a chuckle and then dive in.
By now, my vision of what it means to be an empress is quite specific – a mix of efficient, reliable, and human leadership. The tiara ends up being a visual for others and a haptic recminder for myself.
An empress knows what’s going on in her realm. She works closely with advisors and the nobility. She’s aware of her responsibilities towards the work as well as the people. She listens to advisors and her subjects before making decisions, she facilitates and mediates where needed, and she isn’t afraid to act decisively when required.
In a nutshell, the tiara reminds me about the unique perspective that I bring to the table. It’s also a tool to identify the people I want to work and hang out with: people who want to make an impact (on different levels), who want to create a world that works for them, even if that means that we need to do things differently.
And why wouldn’t you add sparkle to your life?
PS: Check out the 101 things you didn’t know about me if you want to learn more about me.
